Geranium

Who has two thumbs 

And neither of them are green?

This guy!

But there is a flowering plant

That evades even my lethal care

The geranium

I was first 

Formally introduced to this brilliantly 

Resilient creature

When I was directing a play 

About a mother who was in prison

For having killed her husband

And the daughter

She hasn’t seen

In the 20 years since it all went down

The geranium was a metaphor in the play

And was mentioned

Multiple times in the script

“I didn’t expect there to be geraniums”

“….and they plant fucking geraniums for the visitors”

For closing night 

I gave a geranium plant

To each member of the cast

And I kept one for myself 

I was able to nurture for a while

And then life happened

And life just kept on happening

And it got to the point

That just trying to keep myself nurtured

Was about all I had the capacity for

And I watched 

As my once thriving little geranium plant 

Slowly withered 

To the point of near death

I didn’t have it in me 

To throw it away

So put it under a shelf on my balcony

So I didn’t have to watch it anymore

In a way 

Putting us both out of our misery

But then

As life does

Life continued to happen

And I started to feel 

My spark again

I was surrounded by love 

And people 

Who would make sure I was nourished

Even when I didn’t have the capacity

To nourish myself

And with my cup not just being full 

But running over and over and over

And having light 

And love to give again

I took my little geranium plant 

Out of the darkness 

And I gave it

My light and love

And within a day or two

What was brown 

Started to turn green again

Not everything all at once

But there was still life 

In that brilliant

Resilient little plant

And soon 

There was more green than brown

And then tiny little buds started to form

And those buds turned into vibrant 

Bright crimson flowers

That welcome me home

And bid me a good day

As I come and go

And pass by their perch 

On my balcony

One of my motivation songs

For years

Has been the song “Titanium”

By David Guetta

Featuring Sia

I am Titaaaaniiiiiiiummmmmmm

I would belt that out

At the top of my heart

Anytime I needed 

To feel 

The strength of steel

But as it turn out

I am not made of steel

I am a living

Breathing

Feeling being

And I am 

A brilliant

Resilient creature

I am a geranium

I’m a geraaaaaanniiiiiuuuuuuummmm

I’m a fucking geranium.